


Beyond Infinite

by L_imagines



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fanon, The 100 (TV) Season 5
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:40:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27393631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L_imagines/pseuds/L_imagines
Summary: Bellamy and Clarke thought that nothing in the world would separate them again - physically or emotionally - not after six years without knowing that the other was alive...not after having repeatedly betrayed each other's trust.With the earth on fire and uninhabitable again, they think they will have a second chance to start over and go to sleep in cryogenics until everything returns to normal...However, they wake up before the hour and with the ship in motion...they were not returning to earth, they were in search of another planet.To find out what happened and find a solution, the two have to work together, but there is still a lot of hurt involved, unpardoned actions, broken hearts and repressed desires.They've survived the end of the world twice ... but why don't they seem to be able to continue life after a single kiss?
Relationships: Bellamy Blake & Clarke Griffin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	1. Why not?

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic was originally written in Portuguese on Wattpad. But some of you always asked me for an English version of it.
> 
> here we go!
> 
> (It's finished & I'll try to update every day)

Starting over. 

People who have gone through bad times or hurt others, use the term as a search for surrender. 

You "can" start over from scratch if you think you should.

Skaikru not only owed but deserved it. Since the first ship with a hundred teenagers landed on Earth a few years earlier, a lifetime has seemed to pass in less than a decade.

There were so many good and bad surprises, experiences, passions and true friendships that those boys lived, and today it is difficult and sad to remember that most of them are dead.

The world was ending for the second time, Raven barely managed to climb with the ship before the missile reached the valley, until then the only piece of life that was left on Earth... no more. At least for ten years.

The only way to survive in the long term was to opt for cryogenics, for the sake of quality of life and safety, after all highly dangerous criminals living with young people and soldiers with divergent beliefs like those that formed the Wonkru, would not result in a good thing in one or two years.

So they all went to sleep in the hundreds of modules for at least a decade, until everything was back to normal on Earth.

You can imagine how worrying it seemed to someone, waking up in a ship where hundreds of people still slept in the capsules next door. With no one awake to welcome or worse, wake up before the hour.

Fortunately - or not, two capsules would be opened. 

Loneliness could exist, but not entirely. After all, two minds are better than one, and as long as there is a voice that does not come from your head, you will be healthy. But if silence is the only thing left...

A single brain, however powerful, would not be able to compel a body without a heart to function.

And alone, lost in the void, for eternity, a heart could never endure.  
═══

Clarke couldn't explain why her capsule turned off and opened on its own, when silence and darkness still filled the huge cryogenic room.

It was cold. 

She could remember that when she went to sleep the temperature was pleasant, perhaps due to the excess human heat of those who were transiting to their capsules at the moment.

But now, only with hers open and the room in the utmost emptiness, a shiver ran down her spine, not from a negative feeling, just from the cold air.

She felt invigorated, she hadn't slept enough for a long time to feel good, she got up and pushed the capsule back, looked around and no other seemed about to open either.

Clarke was surprised, why only she woke up? Did something go wrong? She didn’t mean to worry, after all she knew that bad things didn’t happen out of nowhere, although... dangerous situations used to follow her like a shadow.

Perhaps the universe chose her to stay out, even after all, deep down she still didn't feel worthy of the gift of life, to start over in a new place.

The problem was with her, not with the location...   
Or maybe she was dreaming. It would make more sense for it to be a nightmare or a strange dream, and when she woke up "really" she wouldn't even remember the strangeness of it.

Instead of martyrdom and madness suggesting possibilities that might not have been real, she went looking for answers.

She left the room and went in the opposite direction, their people had not been on that side even when they all settled in the ship, which was the least suspect, it's as if what used to be a gray wall has given way to a new narrow, white corridor, in spite of all the dead color of that place.

With everything that happened on earth previously, there was no time left to explore Eligius, and for the incident now, she considered that time would not be wasted anymore, so why not?

The silence became terrifying for anyone who was not the commander of death, for her it was just having peace.

Clarke followed that unusual passage and with each step she took she was more sure that none of them had stepped there, the floor was too untouchable to have been explored.

Then she came to a part that surprised her, even though it was built to transport prisoners, it had a luxurious space probably reserved for the crew. A huge pool started right at the beginning of the corridor and extended across the center of the room.

Her eyes shone, her dream of girl, she had never seen one more than in the pictures of magazines about the world before the bombs she had in her room in the ark.

For a second she considered being dead, it didn't make any sense that pool there, or what would make the most sense and she had already thought about it, was dreaming.

But why with something so random? I've never seen a pool in my life to dream of one, isn't it necessary to know things first before imagining yourself with them? - she thought 

She shouldn't even be awake... But she was, and when she put her little toe in the water, she felt it was real.

She would not hesitate again, undressed and plunged into the heated water.

She closed her eyes and floated for infinite minutes, without thinking, without making a noise, just listening to the water bubbles and her breathing.

That was being at peace. She thought she would never feel that. She always heard people talking, people always sought peace, including hers, but in fact having moments like that, she never had.

There was not a single day after they arrived on Earth that she was able to say that she did not feel any concern, either for something past or that would still come. No, she never had peace.

She could even say that she did once, while her father was still alive, when she came from a happy family. Her parents were not as perfect as she saw them, especially her mother, who took the longest to forgive.

But they lived well and at least she was a layperson of the world's problems, she tasted peace before she lost her father, her best friend, her confidence, security and the control of her destiny.

Yeah, Clarke wouldn't know if there was still something left for her to pretend to live in a perfect bubble and to be ignorant outside, but if she ever be at peace again, she hoped that the sensation would be the same as it is now, that of floating in a heated pool.

To be continued...


	2. two - emotions over everything

Bellamy was never a very rational boy, since young when he dodged the guards in search of something fun to entertain his younger sister, he never thought about the consequences of his actions, even when the intentions were the best.

After all, what's wrong with a boy looking for new toys for his sister? Except that toys already had owners, and you couldn't have siblings...

Aurora's luck is that he was a good son, and fortunately a wonderful brother. As a son and brother, Bellamy knew that at least when he lived in the ark with his family he was a source of pride - Of course, until he made the mistake of letting try to use reason and emotion in the wrong way, taking Octavia to a party, resulting in both of them on a ship sent to Earth and everything that happened afterwards.

He had the best of intentions indeed, his sister deserved it. But due to his history of emotional instability he should consider what could and could not go wrong. But he didn't.  
He always knew how to use his heart more than his head. he had never taught himself to balance the two.

Until met Clarke. 

The head can see what the heart cannot see at first, because the essential is invisible to the eyes, but not only for that reason.

What keeps one of them  
functioning is the existence of the other, if there was no heart to have a heartbeat, the brain would lose its function of sending signals to a body to stay alive.

There would be physical, but not sentimental, sense.

Like the pain. Pain exists only between the lines. You feel it because the brain "forces" you to feel it - but you are in charge most of the time, you just don't know it.

And what about love? Love is not only feeling but also thinking. It is decision, action and reaction. It is the beginning, middle and the end. It doesn't matter which type.

There are those who say love is weakness, but even to admit it you must to have been weak. You can't explain love without feeling it.

It may even be mistaken for weakness, but then the feeling is no longer to blame. It's yours. You make the choices. You use your head, your heart, or both, but the responsibility for the choices is yours. Love is not just guilt. Love is not just pain, much less weakness.

Love is the result of working together, in a double way. The head and the heart, and the line that connects them is either expelling actions out of a body, or attracting these two rare shells outside.  
Like an invisible line that ties in with proximity when you meet someone who would fit the end of the line just like yours.

Two heads, one connection connected to the heart. This is how soulmates are discovered.

That is why they say that love is a matter of luck. Not him at all, but this connection of souls is not fortunate enough to find the other line in one life.

But there are those who do. These are usually completed spontaneously. No labels, no certainties. They just are.

And they act according to how they know how to live best. Risking and loving.

Bellamy wakes up with a hiss and a machine noise calling, it was his module opening. He sits and when his feet touch the ground, he feels cold, he was no longer used to the cold air of space.

His body reacted by leaving the surface of the skin under the clothes completely numb, he passes his hands on his arms for a light warm and walks. Before leaving the room he notices that another module was open, when he looks at the side viewer, realizes that it is Clarke's, and it was empty, he looks back at all the capsules and asks if they were programmed to wake up like this, at different minutes.

He didn't think for a moment there could be anything wrong, so he left the cryo room and went looking for her.

Eligius IV was very different from the ring, he explored to the right of the room he was in and was summarized in immense corridors only of cells, of the prisoners, he entered one of them and found female belongings on top of a simple bed.

It was a tiny cell, all gray and nothing but the bed. Bellamy automatically remembered the ark, and of Clarke, she said that she had been in solitary confinement before being erased and sent to earth, he still does not know why the princess had won this little misfortune in her destiny, he never asked and now he could admit that it wasn’t totally bad, after all, if she hadn’t been sent to Earth and he wasn’t a guard to protect Octavia, they would never have met, they were from very different worlds.

He leaves the cell and comes back the way he came, he wanted to see if his friends had already woken up, but before reaching the end of the corridor he heard the sound of water, as in an aquarium.

He hadn't had a assimilation like this in a long time, the last time he saw an aquarium up close on the ark, but now it looked like something swimming and spilling water.

First he was curious, but soon afterwards on alert, some pipes may have burst and left them in trouble and that is why the capsules are opening. If that fear were real, they were in a tight spot.

He peered out one of the windows and saw that the Earth was just a blinking, distant dot in the middle of space. If he paid attention to what he had seen, he would remember that they did not plan to leave the inner circle of the solar system, but the noise of water was what troubled his mind now.

With the same strangeness as Clarke, he noticed a suspicious corridor in the ship, as if it were a false passage, before it was not there but now it was.

He could only be sure of what it was if he took the test, then curiosity won him over, and he turned and went after the sound.

To be continued...


	3. Three - looking at the stars

Some broken pipe, a real aquarium for some kind of species, anything Bellamy supposed it was, but he definitely didn't expect what he found.

What was that called? It was like an artificial blue lake, he had a vague memory of seeing something like that when he was young in magazines that his mother took for Octavia to cut out.  
Pool! - he remembered, and in addition to being ecstatic because he would not imagine seeing a swimming pool in a cargo ship, he was surprised to notice at the end of the pool a Clarke with her eyes closed, floating on her back to him, and naked. 

This observation caused thousands of sensations in him, both physical and emotional. He didn't count that his legs would weaken slightly, nor with the chill that he felt running down his spine.

It was just Clarke, his body shouldn't react to her like that.

I mean... it's not like he never reacted differently when he thought of her, like when she left him the first time and he dreamed of their reconciliation when she returned,  
or when he slept on the couch next to her on one of the nights they talked late and ended up dreaming about her,  
or even on sleepless nights in the ring when he pretended she wasn't dead and the memory of touching her, having her hair in his hands when he hugged her, has already caused him feelings that would embarrass him if he were caught by her...

in another time. Not today.

After all, she was real and she was there. Naked. He never had the opportunity to know how he would react. So far.

Still peeking at the end of the corridor, he undresses, leaving only his shorts down. He could think of countless reasons for turning around and not going into that pool, one of which was that his family was in the room less than 50 meters behind him, if someone woke up and saw him there with Clarke...No, he wouldn't think of "what if?", If they haven't woken up by now, they still have some time.

With that dose of courage and daring he went into the pool and silently dived to Clarke, she was no longer floating, she was just facing the glass in which the whole space was seen, it was a spectacular sight.

Because they grew up in the ark, people like them never valued the beauty behind those windows, but after so much that they went through and struggled to survive, Bellamy couldn't think of a better meaning for peace than looking at the stars.

\- I had forgotten how peaceful it was to watch them.

He makes himself seen and heard, commenting on the view, right behind Clarke. She gets scared and swims around.

Clarke looks at his friend and swerves quickly, was there still time to run?  
She was naked!! And he probably also, she wouldn't dare look again.  
She remains silent and realizes that while she freaked out internally she had already lost the time she would use to escape, now she had to face and pretend she was not flushed from head to toe.

\--- What are you doing awake?

\--- I could ask you the same question, but I believe that you don't know the answer, just like me - he replied calmly admiring the space.

\--- 10 years passed very quickly, but why didn't the others wake up at the same time as us?  
\- she keeps asking anything so they don't stay silent, for the first time she was not sure how to act around him.

\--- Well, you woke up first than me, there must be some time interval in each disabled capsule, we can find out later

\--- Okay... uh, I guess we better see it now, I've been here a long time, my fingers are wrinkled and I'm freezing  
\- she suggested nervous speaking quickly and at once

Bellamy knew that she was trying to escape. It was now or never.

\-- Clarke...

He takes her arm while trying to swim to the edge of the pool and holds her in his arms so she doesn't sink

For Clarke, it was like a thousand alarms beeping in her mind screaming "danger, get away!" and she didn't know whether to obey them or to expect what Bellamy had to say.

But if there was anything, even he didn't know how to speak, because before she thought of another way of escape, his lips captured hers.

Clarke gasped in surprise during the kiss, she hoped.. she didn't really know what she expected, but it certainly wasn't a kiss, not at that moment at least

If it were six years ago, she would not even hesitate, when she longed for his return, alone...

It was a simple kiss, the mouth of one over the other, he did not want to deepen things or move away fast, so it took the necessary time for her to feel part of the load of emotions that he wanted to pass in just a touch.

Her lips were puckered with cold, but the contact of his hot breath combined with the temperature of the water, reflected inwardly in her body and she felt the warmth run through her being

Due to her lack of reaction, he himself was the first to walk away, but not so much, his foreheads still stuck together.

When she finally opened her eyes, he was already staring at her and as clever as Clarke thought she was, he was unable - or refused to allow himself - to decipher what his eyes were looking for.

Nor did she know how to say what she felt, her heart was racing, obviously, but perhaps more from the fright than the kiss itself.

Whom she was trying to deceive, she never managed to deceive her heart when it came to Bellamy. She had tried to lock up unwanted feelings in the past under lock and key behind her heart, but they came back in force with whatever danger he was in and she knew it.

She couldn't help but care, he said once she made it difficult for him to keep her alive, but it wasn't like she was the only one to worry. His hero syndrome had driven her crazy for years.

She blinked several times to dispel her thoughts and when she seemed to wake up to what had happened there, she pushed slightly to get out of his arms.

He looks at her and the gleam in his eyes turns so fast into tension that she wonders if he also rethought what they just did.

It changed everything.

To be continued...


	4. four - Is It too late?

\--- This is a mistake...- says quietly still looking into his eyes

As soon as she walks away, she swims to the edge of the pool, before leaving the water she looks back, not at his eyes, and asks with what remains of her dignity that night:

\--- Can you close your eyes please? Or turn around?

Bellamy laughed scornfully, she knew he had already noticed that she was naked, right? But Clarke kept waiting

\--- You are not kidding... - he said stopping the smile, she was furious with him

\--- Bellamy... - she didn’t have to ask again, he left the pool before her, grabbed the clothes at the beginning of the room and left

With a shame - too late to be present - she turned her face when he passed in front of her, she didn't want to find out if he was also naked.

When he was out of sight, she got out of the water, put on her wet clothes and ran to the opposite side of where he had gone.  
She found a door written "area restricted to the crew, do not pass" luckily unlocked, she wouldn't need to destroy anything.  
The door gave access to a long, narrow staircase that ended on a totally different level from the prison wing below.It was more like the pool hall, everything was white and impeccably clean, she entered one of the doors and a huge bathroom with a single bathtub was supposed to be someone's refuge, all the walls around it were glass and it's like she was walking outside, in space.

It reminded her of Bellamy talking about the stars a few minutes ago. She sat in the bathtub, took a deep breath and let the tears come. Her lips still burned with excitement at the surprise kiss and she wanted to be happy, because she spent the last few years wishing that he was alive in the ring so that he could come back to her and live what she had discovered she felt for him and was no longer afraid... love.

He came back alive really, but not alone. Then she cried even more, with hatred that life was unfair and because she was not worthy to love and be loved by someone without death or any hiccups coming her way.

She hoped she had more time to be there alone, that the others hadn't woken up yet, how would she look at Echo after what she did? What they did...Okay, they were far from friends, but as Bellamy said days before the missile destroyed everything, she was no longer his family, Echo yes.

Clarke pretended all the time that it hadn't hurt, even when he put Madi's flame against her will, and she was angry, not because it was right or not but because it was like he said it with all the letters that she really didn't matter anymore.

She made him promise Madi's safety, and it was precisely the promise that he not only broke but put the only person who kept her alive for six years in danger. When she thought about it, Clarke would like to say that she hated him, that she still hates him because she will always keep that hurt, but how to hate Bellamy Blake?

He was always there for her, even when she didn't see it, and now that she sees... it's too late.

Bellamy knew her reaction was to be expected, but he still felt bitter after the rejection. They never talked about their feelings about each other, they didn't know clearly how they felt, Clarke didn't even know that he and Echo were no longer together...

He tapped his head against the glass in front of him, closing his eye in anger at the realization.. she must have thought he was still with Echo and only acted on impulse, because he was a man.

Good job, Bellamy! you just screwed up years of friendship in ten minutes - he thought hating himself - Clarke wouldn't look him in his face for another ten years now.

To be continued...


	5. five - she can break my heart into a thousand pieces. I will always have forgiveness for her.

Bellamy had to look in several cells until he found a dry thing to wear, it was another Eligius uniform identical to the previous one, but white.

Once dressed, he went back to the cryo room, if Clarke didn't want to see him, he wouldn't force a conversation to generate screams, the last thing he needed was to face whatever came again without her to lead along.

He no longer wanted to be the head and the heart, they had to share it again, and if he could no longer have her as a friend, he should at least have her as a leader.

When his hairs stood up, he realized he was already in the room, walked towards his sister's capsule and stopped on top of it.

He still didn’t understand how six years could change someone that much, an irritating tug on his mind threw the suggestion that she stopped being his sassy little sister when she lost Lincoln, when he let that happen, and God knew how much he still blamed himself. Maybe the guilt would never dissipate, he really didn't deserve it.

And now everything that was happening to her was a constant reminder of what he had done in the past.

"Red Queen" whispered and laughed humorlessly, she reigned over fear and led by power, in what space did her heart gone? Bellamy feared never knowing how to answer.

He left his sister, he still couldn't forgive her, she had put him in the arena to die... she certainly didn't know what it was like to have a heart anymore.

Ahead, on the opposite side, he saw the Echo module. He sighed closer, mentally apologized as he watched her sleep.

They both knew that their relationship was doomed to fail after time in the ring, she even tried to warn him, protect her feelings, but he insisted on the stability they had and gave her extra hope that she was already opening up to a new personality. 

Of course, it was enough to know Clarke was alive, to everything change. He liked that between Echo and him there was always an understanding that didn't always need words, maybe a keen sense of spy, because she knew it.

Bellamy suspected that she had known since the girl, Madi, said Clarke was alive when they returned to Earth. He never looked at Echo. It was nothing to him, he was in shock, it's a justifiable reaction...isn't it?

But not for her, the same night she defected to save them all, while Bellamy was going to say goodbye, she stopped him.

"There's no room for two in your heart, Bellamy. There never was. I was just there.. and she wasn't."

he remembers how he was speechless when she said it softly and seriously, then just squeezed his shoulder and left.

He hates himself for not having deigned to answer her in the least, after all it was three years together, he didn't want her to think he only wore it on the ring, he really liked her... he just didn't love her.

And he certainly didn't want her to find out in a bad way. Too late...

Why did all the important women leave him? He didn't know how to be enough for anyone, not even for his own sister since clearly his life wasn't worth much if he didn't know how to fight well enough to be the last survivor, if he didn't know how to be a good killer, as she had become.

And now there was Clarke, after a gap of half a decade he was still confused about her new personality, the mother one.

He approached where Madi slept serenely and smiled, remembered her telling him while they were still waiting for the others, Clarke's radio calls to him all those years, which left him in mild shock, if he only knew...if as soon as he landed on Earth he had that information, maybe they wouldn't be fighting now.

He widened his smile and shook his head despite everything bad they had been through, just one thing about her and that was it, all anger at anything that still weighed on his chest dissipated. 

no matter what she did, he would always forgive her.

She called out to him every day for six years, it had to mean something... something that maybe their kiss by the pool wasn't as wrong as it made it seem.

With that thought he decides to go back and go after her yes, anytime the others would wake up - although it was taking too long - he could not waste any more time.


End file.
